Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Lately I've been having much thoughts on my mind.
how does one really adapt to the surroundings and environment around them?
Two years into staying outside with friends instead of family,I've learned so much about getting along with people.
It's just a matter of time really.until you figure out a person from head to toe.
from the way she eats to the way she sleep.and also to the extent of the way she bath.haha
sometimes i get kinda uncomfortable living under one roof with someone who isn't your family.
there isn't much privacy left and i feel so vulnerable and fragile.
the minute u let your guards down and leave your comfort zone is the minute u will get yourself hurt anytime.
it's not about the issue of trust or anything.but sometimes I'd rather keep everything to myself than to spill it all out to someone else.
to be frank,i am afraid of being judged by others.of the way i think and speak.
i know it's not appropriate to hold back and be someone I'm not.
but that's just how i communicate with people around me. i'd rather be someone i'm not than to say something offensive. =/
As I've mentioned before,i ought to be someone shy and quiet.i find it hard to think of topics to talk to someone. it's like i would run out of words to say so it's kinda difficult for me to hold a conversation for more than 15mins. sucks big time. which is why most of the time,i choose to travel alone. i would rather take the 3hrs bus alone than to have a friend sitting beside me.because by then i would have to think of something to talk about in order to decrease the awkwardness. I'm weird i know.
oh well,i think i'll probably improve myself by the time i start working.the drama really starts by then.i'll have more things to mumble about and more thoughts running through my mind.
it's a Public Holiday tmr.heading out shopping with the housemates.hopefully i can grab something nice for CNY cause there isnt much time left for shopping!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
im flying to Aussie this coming Sept! wheee =D
its gona be so awesome cuz its a 9days trip with the bunch.traveling overseas without my parents for the 2nd time after Spore.=)
been camwhoring so much with the new DSLR
and i am hooked on Photoscape.the edits are so much nicer.
it makes the ori photo alot like those taken by Lomo =)
these are some of the photos taken at home and edited with Photoscape.
not bad eh?
classes have started like usual. idk why but i feel like i dont belong here anymore.
everything just doesnt feel right.=/
i am so eager to head home every weekend despite the fact that my class ends at 5pm on Friday.
how pathetic is that.i've been hoping and hoping so much that the 3pm class on Friday can be changed to other time of the week.well,atleast i can head home after 12pm on Fri.
looks like my wish isnt gona come true anyway.oh screw it.
on a brighter side,CNY is coming real soon like less than 2 weeks time.
there comes a time when i start to miss the old days so much.
its so overwhelming that i feel like crawling in bed and cry myself to sleep at night.
the other day i was traveling from home back to uni.i was sitting in the bus when a group of high school students came up.i just sat there listening to them complaining about their homework and gossiping about their friends.u know,typical high school students.
it struck me how i used to be like that few years ago.
where there were so much freedom in my life.and things used to be so simple and easy.even if things go wrong at school,i would still have someone to listen to me at home. i can just run back and rant to my mum.
but now,i have no one to run to when i'm having the shittiest day ever.
even though it's just a phone call away but it's nothing compared to having someone to hold and comfort u whenever u're in need. SIGH~
i should stop bitching about my life already.
sorry for spamming this post with photos.especially edited ones.
be back soon!